Recently, my family celebrated my granddaughter's birthday. As she turned eleven years old, I couldn't help but reflect on the many wonderful memories I have of watching her grow. And I couldn't help feeling a bit nervous (as parents and grandparents do), watching her move into the pre-teen phase and wondering what is next for her.
As thoughts ran through my head I was inspired to write this little poem. I hope you enjoy reading it:-)
I dig deep within myself to write feelings that emerge. I shout out words with my pen and hit paper with a surge. Random times and days, I can not pick and choose. It's, as if, someone takes my words, my thoughts.....and decides, in which way, they will be used. Have you ever felt this way? Having no control? Have you ever looked ahead....but, only seen the old? I'm sure I'm not the only one who suffers from this plight. As a writer, I admit, I only want to write. Then what holds my hand away.....could it just be life?
I know we all have times where we need to get things done, but just can't seem to accomplish what we set out to do. I have been beating myself up because I have let other parts of life come between me and my writing. The more I beat myself up the less I write. How do I stop the cycle?
Any comments or suggestions will be appreciated, friends :-)
She cared for her
With a mother’s heart
Though they were only
A decade apart
They hugged as they slept
On one small cot
Sharing a pillow and a tear
Cringing at the noise
Covering their ears
Pretending to sleep
The words were loud
And cut so deep
An abusive time
With each others love
They grew close
Then life changed
New lives began
Their paths were severed
Moving toward a better day
Lives changed forever
She laid her head upon
The soft mound of fluff
That is solely hers
And her heart beats alone.
The promise of a new beginning, a new hope, a new dream. That is what the New year brings to each and everyone of us. Most of us make resolutions that never see the light of day. Or we may give it a heartfelt try, however, by January 15th, our firm decision has crumbled. I know, this isn't news. We've all been there and we all know about losing the "conviction of our resolve". I am going to try something different this year. Instead of New Year "resolutions", I am making New Year "promises". I have always worked much harder at keeping a promise than I ever have at keeping a resolution. I'm not sure why that is, but it may have something to do with the fact that a resolution is something we decide to do for ourselves and is, almost always, expected to be broken. A promise, however, is something we make to another and in doing so, becomes more important. Well, this year I am making myself that important "other" and making promises to me.
I would love to make a promise to bring world peace, feed every starving child out there, and give every homeless person a warm and safe place to live. If I thought I could accomplish those things, well.....maybe next year! But, for this year I have two important promises to make to......me. :-)
The first promise to myself is to take care of my health and this means dropping the excess weight. So, paying more attention to proper nutrition (which may mean giving up my comfort food), starting a consistent walking program (which will give me less time on the internet) and consistency in both are key. I know, it doesn't sound like much fun, but will be worth it in the long run.
The second promise is to spend more time on my writing. I want 2010 to be full of short stories, poetry, and the two novels, of which I have the first drafts completed. My goal is to have one or both of my novels ready for submission by the Spring of 2010 or at the very latest, Summer of 2010. Now, this does sound like a whole lot of fun.
Well there, I said it publicly. How could I possibly not keep my word to myself with the whole world watching. OK! Maybe, not the whole world, but my twitter friends and family, who are the whole world to me.:-)
Wish me luck and let me know what "promises" you've made for the New Year!
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