The ~ Heart ~ of Writing: Family

Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

My Mother is gone, now. She passed away in 2007.I'm looking forward to seeing her again when it's my time.I look forward to showing her the appreciation that she deserved.

Growing up, what I needed from my mother wasn’t available. My mom’s understanding, compassion and love, was spent trying to make her relationship work with dad. Their relationship, at best, was unstable. They abused one another verbally and emotionally and stopped very short of physically. The physical abuse,was saved for my four siblings and I. Spilled milk, literally, would enrage her.

Mom cried more than she laughed, in her younger days when she was raising us. As a child, I only saw what happened right in front of me. I didn’t analyze it or try to figure out why it happened. I just felt the hurt. I never had a clue how bad my mom’s heart had been hurting. I never heard the word, ‘dysfunctional’ to describe a family or relationship, back then. However, many families were dysfunctional, without even knowing it. There was no blame placed for how we were treated. That was just the way it was.

When I moved on with my life and began my family, her emotional suffering still didn’t make itself apparent to me. Things went on as normal. She would laugh at get-togethers and be charming and everyone loved her. Her faith in the Catholic Church wouldn’t allow her to divorce, so she and my dad were still together, still aggravating one another. I perceived it as a sham, thinking I knew the real her. We fought about the right way and the wrong way to do things, like cleaning the bathroom, making formula or folding diapers. (Yes, I’m dating myself here.)

It was when she had a near fatal stroke, I began to realize how hard her life had been and now I wanted to take care of her. Easier said than done, we fought about her therapy, which she didn’t want to do and she hated every meal I cooked. I realized how she liked to push my buttons one day, when she made a snide comment about something I had done like burnt dinner or something and she started to laugh at me. I realized that mindless bantering was her way of dealing with her pain and always had been. I laughed with her. Some things never change, but one thing did and that was our love for each other.

I didn’t know how much she meant to me and how much I would miss her, until her time was almost over. The morning I kissed her forehead and watched her draw her last breath, I hoped she knew how much I loved her. I think of her everyday, sometimes I laugh and sometimes I cry. I regret wasting all of that time carrying hurt and anger when in the end I can honestly say that she was a pretty amazing woman.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Happy Easter, Everyone!

Image by Stitch via Flickr

I thought this a worthy post to celebrate the Easter Holiday and the Resurrection of Our Lord. It is also a reminder that April is child abuse prevention month.

This is a repost.............

Chocolate bunnies and brightly colored eggs are what children look forward to on Easter Sunday. Dressing in their finest pastel dresses and shirts to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus and the rebirth of Spring.

To some children.......this is only a dream......

Over 3 million children are abused every year in the United States. Physical, emotional or sexual child abuse is rampant and while many laws and programs have been put in place in the past decades, our children are still suffering the abuse.
April is the month designated to child abuse prevention, but we need to be diligent all year round to keep our kids safe and secure. Even when we think a child is safe, they can be hurt, inside their own homes, by their own parents or other family members. People, who the child should be able to trust and feel safe with, are many times the people who harm them. Physical scars will heal in time, but the emotional scars of this type of child abuse never heal. Their innocent lives are changed forever, by calling them names or making them feel inadequate in some way. Verbal abuse isn't talked about as much as the others (physical, emotional and sexual), but it can be just as devastating to a child.
Here are a few statistics that will shock you.

A report of abuse is made every 10 seconds
Five children die EVERY DAY as a result of child abuse. Three out of four are under the age of four
60-85% of child fatalities due to neglect are not recorded as such on their death certificate
90% of child sexual abuse victims know their perpetrators
Child abuse occurs at every socioeconomic level, across every ethnic and cultural line, within all religions and at all levels of education

Child abuse is insidious, because of the effect it has on the child long after the crime and well into adulthood. To learn more click here.
Child Welfare Information Gateway - Definitions of child abuse and neglect - A summary of State laws

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Sister, Where Are You?

She cared for her
            With a mother’s heart
                                          Though they were only
                                                                         A decade apart
They hugged as they slept
                       On one small cot
                                              Sharing a pillow and a tear
                                                                              Cringing at the noise
Covering their ears
                          Pretending to sleep
                                               The words were loud
                                                                                      And cut so deep
An abusive time
                      With each others love
                                                        They grew close
                                                                                   Then life changed
New lives began
                      Their paths were severed
                                               Moving toward a better day
                                                                            Lives changed forever
She laid her head upon
                       The soft mound of fluff
                                                        That is solely hers
                                                                      And her heart beats alone.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Find Susan Powell

It has been over a month now that Susan Powell, a 28 year old mother of two sweet boys, ages 5 and 3, has been missing. Her children don't know where their mommy is and that is not OK. I am fearful that the outcome, after all of this time, will not be a good one for those children or the rest of the family. Still, we must stay positive, easier said than done, for those who love her and miss her and want her back home with them.

Every time I see a post or a news article about Susan Powell, I wonder what I would do if it were one of my daughters who went missing. As much as it hurts to think about and the agony I imagine feeling, it is nothing compared to what Susan's family, friends and loved ones are going through, because my daughters are still with me.

Please keep Susan Powell and her family in your prayers, for more information about Susan Powell.